Gloom And Doomer

Twins

I just watched the Bush twins embarrassing performance at the Republican National Convention. I cannot believe that the Republicans were foolish enough to let them deliver such a horrible speech.

A couple of highlights:

Jenna endorses premarital sex as hip (When she said the word "sex" in front of all those uptight delegates it got uncomfortably quiet in a hurry)

The twins tell their father and the world that they plan to remain irresponsible just as their father did. (This may have been the ultimate revelation)

They say they are not political but due to their connections they expect a high government post, despite their youth, inexperience and obvious intellectual shortcomings because that is what they have been taught is their due.

Finally, in what will go over very badly among the religious right in detailing what their parents taught them the subject of Jesus was not mentioned. The born again types always mention religion first.

Summation: The Bush girls are irreligious promiscuous drunken partiers who nevertheless expect a plum position in the White House. The apple has not fallen far from the tree.

By the way I would never be so cruel and prudish to point all of this out if the Republican party wasn't promoting this family as the zenith of faith, charity and family grace.

In case you didn't see it here is a sample:

J. BUSH: It's great to be here. We love Arnold. Isn't he awesome? Thanks to him, if one of us ever decides to marry a Democrat, nobody can complain, except maybe our grandmother, Barbara. And if she doesn't like it, we would definitely hear about it. We already know she doesn't like some of our clothes, our music, or most of the TV shows we watch. Gammie (ph), we love you dearly, but you're just not very hip. She thinks "Sex and the City" is something married people do, but never talk about. We spent the last four years trying to stay out of the spotlight. Sometimes, we did a little better job than others.

J. BUSH: We kept trying to explain to my dad that when we are young and irresponsible, well, we're young and irresponsible. B. BUSH: Jenna and I are really not very political, but we love our dad too much to stand back and watch from the sidelines. We realized that this would be his last campaign, and we wanted to be a part of it. Besides, since we've graduated from college, we're looking around for something to do for the next few years. Kind of like dad.

J. BUSH: Our parents have always encouraged us to be independent and dream big. We've spent a lot of time at the White House, so when we showed up the first day, we thought we had it all figured out. But apparently my dad already has a chief of staff, named Andy.

B. BUSH: When your dad's a Republican and you go to Yale, you learn to stand up for yourself. I knew I wasn't quite ready to be president, but number two sounded pretty good.

B. BUSH: Who is this man they call Dick Cheney?

J. BUSH: I think I know a lot about campaigns. After all, my grandfather and my dad have both run for president, so I put myself in charge of strategy. Then I got an angry call from some guy named Karl.

B. BUSH: We knew we had something to offer. I mean, we've traveled the world; we've studied abroad. But when we started coming home with foreign policy advise, dad made us call Condi.

J. BUSH: Not to be deterred, we thought surely there's a place for strong willed, opinionated women in communications. And next thing we know, Karen's back.

B. BUSH: So we decided the best thing we could do here tonight would be to introduce somebody we know and love.

J. BUSH: You know all those times when you're growing up and your parents embarrass you? Well, this is payback time on live TV.

B. BUSH: Take this. I know it's hard to believe, but our parents' favorite term of endearment for each other is actually "Bushy." And we had a hamster, too. Let's just say ours didn't make it.

J. BUSH: But, contrary to what you might read in the papers, our parents are actually kind of cool. They do know the difference between mono and Bono. When we tell them we're going to see Outkast, they know it's a band and not a bunch of misfits. And if we really beg them, they'll even shake it like a Polaroid picture.

B. BUSH: So, OK, maybe they have learned a little pop culture from us, but we've learned a lot more from them about what matters in life, about unconditional love, about focus and discipline.

B. BUSH: They taught us the importance of a good sense of humor, of being open-minded and treating everyone with respect. And we learned the true value of honesty and integrity.

J. BUSH: When you grow up as the daughters of George and Laura Bush, you develop a special appreciation for how blessed we are to live in this great country. We are so proud to be here tonight to introduce someone who read us bedtime stories, picked up car pool, made us our favorite peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and cheered for us when we scored a goal, even when it was for the wrong team.

B. BUSH: Someone who told us we actually looked cute in braces, always welcomed our friends and was there waiting when we came home at curfew.

J. BUSH: Ladies and gentlemen, one of the two most loving, thoughtful people we know.

B. BUSH: Your president and our dad, George W. Bush.

--- I think I'm gonna hurl!